NMC016 KonMari Day 51
Recorded: May 4, 2016
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Subject: Using Marie Kondo’s KonMari Method to downsize our house as we prepared to move onto a boat.
First, I owe you an apology. As I am working through these episodes, I realize there is a big gap between when the previous episode was recorded in March 2016 and this one from May 2016. So much happened during that time which I swear I documented. But the audio files are MIA (missing in action). So, we jump from the trip I took to Los Angeles with my husband, Nathan, for Chalene Johnson’s Smart Success Live event to being already fully immersed in the process of preparing to move onto the boat. Those missing 2 months were critical in our journey. At some point I hope to find the missing recordings. But for now, all I can do is apologize and carry on from here.
This week’s episode is all about the KonMari process. It was a system I first started hearing about at Smart Success. It is a decluttering process which is based on Marie Kondo’s book, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” I used this system to downsize our home in New Mexico to move onto the s/v Dawn Treader. By the time of this recording, we were well on our way to that goal. If you would like to see just how effective that process was for our family, check out our Patreon page where I will post pictures of the bags and bags of stuff we donated.
More on our family’s KonMari process, including how it helped us improve other areas of our lives too, coming up in next week’s episode.
Have a great week everyone!
Lots of love,
P.S. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to learn more, here’s how to:
Join the New Mexi-Castaways Crew
Get the Full Episode Transcript:download the transcript
Rosa Linda Román (00:00): Hello, everyone. Welcome to New Mexicast. I'm Rosa Linda Román. And before we get started, I want to share what you can expect here on this podcast. First, you should know that my family lives on a sailing catamaran, and this is my personal audio journal. What you're about to hear is an episode from 2016, when we were just starting our journey of moving from our home in New Mexico, onto the boat, as a long time broadcast journalist, I wasn't sure how I was going to keep working while pursuing this crazy new lifestyle. This journal is where I worked through a lot of things, both personally and professionally. That means you will hear about experiments with new technologies like Blab and Periscope and testing out systems to make the move easier like wild tree meal prep. And KonMari for downsizing our stuff. As you can imagine, some of these experiments were successful. Well, some like Blab and wild tree don't even exist anymore, but I decided to leave even the failed experiment in this audio journal. So you could get the whole story of how we went from New Mexicast to New Mexicastaways. If you like, what you hear, please stick around till the end and I'll share how you can find out where we are now and how you can get much more content by joining the New Mexi-Castaways crew. Enjoy! Theme Music: 00:00 Sailing away on a boat. Hailing from New Mexico. Enchanting stories as they go. Riding the tides, taking your time. Sailing away on a boat. Rosa Linda Román: 00:28 Hello. Hello. And welcome to NewMexicast audio edition. I'm Rosa Linda Román. And my apologies upfront for the quality of this audio recording. Normally I have a great Lav. What is it? A road video, Mic? No, a Road Lavalier Mic and a Zoom H4N recorder. So the audio quality is much better, but right now I am using my kids headphone like one of those earbuds and half of it is broken, but that's all I could find in the car. So, um, this is what we do. We improvise, you make things work and um, that's kind of the story of my life in general is you just find a way, um, regardless of what's going on. You can't, you can't let things stop you. Um, I guess that's maybe my theme of the day because I'm smack dab in the middle of working on this system called KonMari for organization organizational system called KonMari. Rosa Linda Román: 01:35 It's um, if you go back through some of my old episodes or recent episodes, I talk a little bit about how I use the system. I'm using this system to, um, get my house in order and downsized tremendously because my family's moving onto a sailing catamaran. It's all based on this book by Marie Kondo, the life changing magic of tidying up. And I have, I started a 90 day countdown at the beginning of March. Um, and I'm now on day 51 into that 90 day countdown. So this is supposed to be when we move on to the boat at the end of this countdown. So when I get to 90, um, we should be probably on the boat or at least in transit toward the boat. Um, I don't have a hard fast date. I'm using the end of school for my kids as, uh, a guide for what we think we will be doing, kind of a target date, but it's not critical that we leave at that time. Rosa Linda Román: 02:41 We don't have any specific thing that we have to get to. Um, but the longer we drag it out, the longer it takes. Right. You use the time you're given, you've, you spend the money, you have whatever you, you know, everything gets fills up to take up as much or as little time and as you as you have. So this KonMari system has been very interesting and I thought I'd give you guys a little update and heading into town, uh, from mountains heading toward a dentist appointment. Cause that's one of the things I'm doing for the whole family before we leave New Mexico is getting all of our dental checkups and all of our dental cleanings and health checkups. I'm happy to report. My health is excellent. I had all my blood work and mammogram and all the works done. So I am good to go. Rosa Linda Román: 03:33 I Ms. Healthy right now, knock on wood. Um, anyway, so now I'm going to go get the dental cleaning and make sure that's in order. So that's great. And I'm doing the same for all my kids and my husband pushing him to do the same because once we sail away, we don't know how long it's going to be before we get regular checkups or um, you know, have easy access to health care again. Um, granted my husband's a doctor. Um, so that helps. But hopefully we won't need, I just, I just want to start the trip knowing we are in good health. Uh, okay. So KonMari. The way this system works is, as I've said on previous episodes, you go through and you hold each item that you, every single thing in your house, literally like you pick up each individual piece of clothing, each book, each, uh, momento each thing, everything that you have in your house, one at a time. Rosa Linda Román: 04:30 And you work in categories. So you start with clothes and then you move onto books. Then you move on to papers. Then I don't even know what comes next. But you basically go through your whole house slowly and steadily um, by category. Well, we got through the clothing and with the clothing, it's not just, um, sorting the clothing. And deciding what you're keeping. It's a system of organization where you're folding them in a certain way. So t-shirts no longer get hung in the closet and look cluttered and jammed into, you know, a tight space. Um, first of all, you end up with tons less than you started with because the fact is you're supposed to pick up each item and ask yourself if it sparks joy. And I was just joking with Samuel's preschool teacher cause she was complimenting the blouse I'm wearing. And I said, well, that's because it's one of the ones that made the cut that sparks joy for me. Rosa Linda Román: 05:23 And it's basically one of three or four blouses that I'm left with instead of the dozens I probably had, um, that we, that I determined just do not start joy. I either had them as hand-me downs or, I got them at different places in my life when, you know, they just, they, they just don't work for me anymore. So it's kind of a funny thing because I feel like I'm wearing the same clothes over and over and um, but I'm trying not to buy anything new because obviously we're moving on to the boat and we'll need different things once we move. Um, so the clothing was challenging, but we got through it pretty well and pretty steadily. The family, uh, first I went through my stuff, well not first, but along the way I dealt with my stuff and then Nathan and I helped the kids deal with their clothes. Rosa Linda Román: 06:13 And, uh, now everything is folded KonMari style, um, and put into these, these nice storage bins within the drawers and everything looks neat and organized and awesome. Um, and even our babysitter/nanny/house helper, she helps us clean, um, twice a week. She is now recruited in the KonMari way. And so she, when she does our laundry, she folds things according to this KonMari style. So it's much easier to maintain and put away and everybody knows where everything is and where it belongs. And so the kids are actually helping a lot more, which is really cool. Um, that's a side benefit by the way. Once you get rid of all the excess stuff, um, they're actually wearing the clothes they have instead of going through excessive amounts of laundry because they take something out of the closet, don't like the way it looks, and then it ends up in the hamper. Rosa Linda Román: 07:13 Um, just to go through the cycle all over again. Now if they put something on, we actually have a bin beside the hamper for anything that is clean, but that does not spark joy. Because sometimes you saved something through this KonMari process and then later you're like, Eh, you know, once you put it on, you realize it really just, it doesn't work for you anymore because now your mind has shifted to, um, really focus on what, um, what is, is lifting you up in your life, right? Nothing should be dragging you down. Your things should support you. Just like, by the way, I'm finding parallels in every other aspect of my life. Like in relationships or business ventures unless. It lifts you up. It doesn't belong in your life. Okay. Just like you want to be the person who lifts the people up in your life. Rosa Linda Román: 08:09 So if you are in relationships where you're not, you're not lifting people up or they're not lifting you up, then then they don't belong in your life. That's it's, it seems so simplistic, but it really is true. And I find this parallel now that I'm doing this KonMari um, I really starting to realize that there's a correlation between, um, the things that surround you and the things that you have determined, you know, sparked joy and the process of getting to that point. There is a correlation between that and other parts of your life. And so I talk here on NewMexicast, the audio edition, realizing that NewMexicast for a long time was one of those things that dragged. It was not something that sparked joy and it, it weighed down heavily on me and I feel great now because I'm just putting stuff out that does spark joy and that I enjoy. Rosa Linda Román: 09:09 I don't worry anymore about, oh, what if somebody's listening or watching and they are going to criticize me. I don't care. Those aren't people that lift me. Right? And it doesn't mean I'm not taking, like if I make an error or a fact error or there's an issue in the audio, like in this case, the audio will be awful. And if somebody complains, they have every right to however that means they didn't listen to the episode because obviously I'm explaining what the problem is. Okay. So my point is there are, I'm not saying there shouldn't be, there isn't a place for um, calling us on our areas of, um, where we missed the mark, excuse me. When I missed the mark, I want somebody to point that out to me. Um, and I'll use the example of a well known person that I adore, but, um, who has a lot of um, uh, type it typographical errors in, in the graphics that they put out. Rosa Linda Román So spelling errors, grammar, grammatical errors. And I know that she is outsourcing this stuff to other people. And so for me, if it was my business, I would want somebody to say to me, hey, I don't know if you realize that graphic you put out the other day, it had a uh, um, a spelling error in it. I would want somebody to point that out cause then I could fix it, right? And I'm not saying what I do respect about this person is she, and you guys can figure out who it is. Cause I talk about her all the time. Um, she puts out a lot of amazing stuff and one of the things I learned from her is you can't fix what you don't produce. So all of us that are perfectionist that think, oh, I have to have it perfect before I let it go. Rosa Linda Román: 10:56 No, but you have to be willing to see when there's an error after that. Right? So you put the thing out and then you fine tune it and you improve it and you make it better and, and you learn and you grow. And for me, that's the most important thing in this lifetime is not just for me to learn and grow, but for me to share that growth so that others can learn and grow and we all evolve together and we're better together and we have an more amazing life collectively. Right? I mean, I'm so excited to be moving onto this boat, right? The lessons that I'm learning from this process, it's, it's not easy, by the way, as you probably have heard in some of my commentary, right? It's not easy. But by sharing the journey and sharing my process, I feel like other people benefit from this too. Rosa Linda Román: 11:48 I want all of you to pursue whatever your big, big dream is. Many people do not have any desire to live on a boat. I get that. But there's something that you have in the back of your mind that you thought maybe when you were younger. Oh, wouldn't it be great if, oh, I, you know, and then you have this other voice. I think this is where the whole "devil, angel on your shoulder" comes from. The voices in your own head where you have that positive side telling you, I can, I want to do this. Wouldn't it be cool if, but then this other devil side and I don't want to use like it's not, I'm not talking religiously. Okay, I'm not saying "the devil", I'm saying just that little mischievous side or that negative side on the other shoulder that says, oh no right away speaks up and says, "Oh, I could never do that. Oh, that, that's way outside of what I could, what I'm capable of." And that's, that second voice is what squashes people's dreams. It squashes it. And I want you to know that, that voice is a liar. It's a liar. There's no reason to ever, ever, ever listen to that voice. Now you have to get prepared. Like, I'm moving onto this boat and we're putting safety systems in place and we are making sure things are taken care of at our home, back home, and that we can handle things financially. And you know, so I'm not saying you go, you know, full heartedly forward, right? You, you have to prepare. But don't let the preparation or the excuse that you need to prepare, keep you from doing the thing that you know you have always wanted to do. You want to do it? Do it. Okay. Maybe starting a cupcake business. Rosa Linda Román: 13:32 It may be, um, you know, it may be traveling, you know, to go see all the national parks in the u s I mean, I don't know what your thing is, but what your thing is, it was put in your heart for a reason, right? Because it resonates with your true self. I know I'm getting deep, but that's really who I am. And the more that I move on this journey, the more that I realize a lot of the stuff that has held me back was in my own head and was my, the story that I was telling myself about why I couldn't do the thing. And I tell myself I now, and by the way, I get that, that little quote that I just said comes from Tony Robbins, who I listened to all the time. Still, I listened to his Personal Power and get The Edge tapes because I am a lifelong learner. Rosa Linda Román: 14:20 I want to continue to grow and, and evolve. And so one of the things he says is the only thing keeping you from where you are now and where you want to be is the story about why you can't get there or why you can't have that. And he says, drop the story. And I agree. You've got to drop the story. Now, I'm not great at this many times. I am great. I'm getting better at it. Um, and that's the language you have to make sure to watch your language. That's the biggest thing is watch your, especially against yourself. We put ourselves down more than any bully ever could. Did you know that? I mean, seriously, who is your worst enemy? You, you're your own worst enemy. Really. If you're not doing the thing that you love and pursuing that big awesome thing, then it's because you're making yourself believe you, you don't deserve it. So anyway, this KonMari system, let's get back to that. Now that I'm off my soapbox. Um, it's, it's been really hard. I'm right now in the middle of, uh, the books now. The clothing I felt really, it was hard, but I felt really good at the end and I feel good because I look at that at the clothes and I know my kids are wearing things that make them happy. I'm wearing stuff that makes me happy. My husband really doesn't care, but he got rid of a lot of stuff too. Rosa Linda Román: 15:44 Um, he does, he says nothing sparks joy for me. Um, anyway, we're all doing things to that, that, I mean, we're wearing clothes that make us feel better. Right? So that's great. We feel better in the clothes we're wearing and that projects out into the world. The, the books are, I'm in the thick of it and it is so much more emotional than the clothing. And the clothing was emotional. Let me tell you, I cried over having to let go of some of like my mother in laws, sweaters and things that I held onto because they represented a person. Um, but now, you know, it's even harder now with the books because books to me represent potential, whereas clothes just represent kind of, and especially when you're holding onto clothes from the past. It's really representative of the past. But books represent potential and the potential that I might read that someday and I might learn something new. Rosa Linda Román: 16:42 And I love learning and I love potential. You know, I love the thought of learning even. Um, but we have thousands and thousands of books in our house, thousands of books and we have been sorting through them. And I realize most of the books, first of all, I've probably read out of all the books in my house. Well I've read a lot of the kids' books to my kids. So that's a whole other layer of attachment and cause it's like, oh this is this snuggle puppy was from when my son was little or my oldest was little. Really. Um, and so some of that is very nostalgic and hard to let go of and maybe I don't want to let go of it cause it still sparks joy. Right. But there's the also all these books that were in my mother-in-law and father-in-law's collection that now that they have passed the letting go of those books and giving them away makes me sad because I thought in the back of my mind when I took them after they passed away, oh, I'll read these books and then I'll have that connection to them through that reading of the book, I will have the experience of knowing what they were learning and what they were, what maybe sparked joy for them. But as I'm going through these books, I'm realizing there's a flaw in that, that line of thinking and that is that unless it's a book that my mother-in-law specifically handed to me and said, I really think you would like this. I liked this book and here's why. They're just books now. Because I don't know if the book on the shelf in her collection was just a book on the shelf in her collection that she happened to pick up from, you know, uh, recently or somebody gave to her and maybe she, maybe she didn't even like the book. But I have no way to know that now. And that's really hard because it's the story behind the stuff that was lost when the person passed away. Rosa Linda Román: 18:45 And I'm finding that with the books that is the hardest, that the story of, of why they owned it and what it meant to them is gone. And so I really don't know. Now that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to read some of these books, but I know myself, I'm not gonna read any of these books anytime soon, anytime soon, especially with the move on the horizon, right. So it occurs to me that probably what I'm going to do is make a list of some of the key books that I'm going to donate so someone else can. Because part of it is the flow of energy, right? By giving stuff away, you tell your brain, hey, I have abundance. I am the kind of person who is generous of spirit, and I give things away because abundance can come into my life without any problem. Rosa Linda Román: 19:38 You're basically telling your brain that you are rich, mentally rich, emotionally rich, physically rich, right? So I really want to give stuff away now, especially if it's not being used. And I'll make a list of the books that I actually hope to read down the road that were in my mother in law and father-in-law's collection. And then I'm going to donate them so that someone else can be enjoying them. And then down the road when I'm in my sixties or seventies and my kids have left home and I have time hopefully to sit and read, I will go back to that list and look at that as, um, maybe a list of books I might be interested in, in buying again. So I am just about at my dentist appointment, I will continue a little bit more about this, um, system and how we're making it work or not work. Um, and what is coming up in the next basically four weeks. Uh, so I'll check back in after this break. Theme Music: 20:49 Sailing away on a boat. Rosa Linda Román: 20:50 Okay. I am back and I am done with my various appointments today. Um, some fun and some not, uh, the dentist was important, but turns out I have a cracked, um, filling and will need a crown. So that is good that I took care of it now, right? Because, or at least now I know and I will take care of it before I leave because, um, even though it's not causing me any trouble right now, the last thing we need is for my, um, my tooth to, you know, get worse or have a major problem when we are out at sea. Um, so I guess this is a good lesson in make sure to take care of what you need to in the process of pursuing your big dream. And for me that means making sure everybody gets medical and dental checkups and that the boat before we actually move our whole family onto it and sail away that all the safety, Rosa Linda Román: 21:50 the things are in place. So we are doing our work up front in the hopes that we can have a wonderful family, um, experience as we go. So that's the dentist. And I wanted to kind of tell you guys something else that a lot of people don't talk about, but I'm going to let you know. My other appointment was my counselor. Um, I went into, I go, uh, generally once a week to see a counselor. Um, I started going, uh, years ago when my mother in law was very sick and then after she passed and my husband and I were struggling with how to process that and some other things going on within our, our relationship. Um, after having three kids and being together for almost 20 years, you change and life changes and things come at you. And the way that we have gotten from where we, sorry, at one point we're almost glorified roommates. Rosa Linda Román: 22:49 Um, because he was gone so much and I was so busy and you know, and, and, and, and to where we are now, where I am more in love with this man than I've ever been in the whole 20 years I've known him. Um, the way that we did that is through counseling and through really mindfully working on ourselves and our relationship. I'm telling you guys that now because I really think that in this process of sharing my journey, I think it's a mistake to pretend like we are superheroes, any of us, those of us that are doing amazing things in this world, um, you know, if you think they are, it's Wonder Woman and doing it alone is a, is a virtue. Um, I wanna I want to tell you, I don't think that's necessarily true because, um, sometimes we all need a little help. Rosa Linda Román: 23:42 And so I'm telling you this now in case you are like, I was where you think, oh, well I, I can do this myself. I can work through this myself. Um, you can and many people do. Um, but for me it helps to have an impartial party who, um, I can talk to once a week and who I can work things through with. Because the fact of the matter is when you live a big life, like I like to do, you know, at my B.A.L., My big awesome life. When you do that, um, you know, you shake things up and sometimes the shakeup can be painful. So you have to make sure to take care of yourself in the process or you end up having nothing left for anyone else. Um, so I, I'm going to pause this while I get some gas and then we will continue. Theme Music: 24:38 Sailing away on a boat. Rosa Linda Román: 24:40 All right. I am back after getting gas in the Behemoth, which I have had this Ford Expedition, um, since uh, I think 2008 and it has, let's see, 181,000 miles on it all. But 2000 of those miles I put on the car myself. So this has been a great car. We're gonna end up driving it to Florida. This one last trip, um, for the, the move to the boat and then we're going to sell the Behemoth, which will be strange because it has been a part of our lives for a long time. Anyway, so I just, I wanted to kind of wrap things up. I know I've been, uh, all over the place today, but I, I wanted to share some of my process because it's coming faster than I'm ready for. The moving onto the boat, all the prep work, all of this journey has been exciting, a bit of a roller coaster and uh, the process of going to visit with my counselor. It's always nice to kind of talk through the process, but I guess you guys are kind of like the second layer of counseling for me. Uh, letting me just kind of ramble on and share my journey and my experience and, and I would love to hear about your own journey and your own experience. So if you want to interact in a more current way, the podcasts obviously live forever and so you may be listening to this after the fact, but I will be continuing my live streaming work as much as I can even after we move on to the boat. And that will be either on NewMexicast Facebook page that you just go to facebook.com/NewMexicast and you can live subscribe to my broadcasts. And that's where I share more of the journey as it happens. Um, or you can see the replay of the videos on New Mexicast TV on YouTube, although at the time of this recording, YouTube is starting to launch a live streaming as well. So I might be doing it there as well, or in addition, or maybe at the same time. But anyway, I know for sure you can find me on most social media platforms as @NewMexicast. And if you just like listening to these podcasts and you want to give a review in iTunes, I would love that. Thank you very much for listening and I appreciate having people around to share the journey with. So thank you and have a wonderful day. I'm Rosa Linda Roman Theme Music: 27:19 Sailing away on a boat. Hailing from New Mexico. Enchanting stories as they go. Riding the tides, taking your time. Sailing away on a boat